I've had an epiphany with my son Jet (6). He has been diagnosed as ADHD but I'm not sure about that one. His behaviour would be classed as poor - low concentration, non-stop swearing, hitting, bullying etc. But in the last couple of days I've really changed my style of parenting and it has worked instantly. He is a new child. I'd like to share some of these changes:
It really starts with happiness. I'm happy and I'm laughing and I'm joking and I'm playing. This is me now. I'm a bit over the top but it's fun. Tashi (8) asked my why I was acting strangely and I just said that I'm going to be super happy from now on. AND I'm praising the boys all the time. I want them to know how wonderful they are and praise their good behaviour.
If there is any inappropriate behaviour or language from the boyz I say "we don't behave/talk like that here" and I walk away. I ignore bad behaviour.
I'm not angry, tired, grizzly, brow-beaten. If I feel angry I don't blow-up, I explain why I'm angry, and there may be time out but I don't lose my cool. At one stage I could feel myself losing it but I held it in (phew, I was proud of that one).
Simple tasks can become games, eg Jet is quite competitive so I time how long it takes to put his shoes on (previously he always refused to put his shoes on himself).
Now we're a team and we do more stuff together. Let's cook together, let's do a quizz together. And I'm modelling good behaviour. If I'm ignored I don't walk away I expect to be heard. We are communicating as a family. YAY
Alisa
www.purecurenz.com
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1 comment:
I like your blog. It was a pleasant surprise. I am a sociologist of Portugal and won you a new admirer. You can also, visit me in http://sociologiaparaprincipiantes.blogspot.com/
Greetings
Paulo Goncalves
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